Shirts and blessings

First of all, I wanted to let you know that the T-shirts have been opened up again.  They are only open for 5 more days for those of you who never got around to ordering a t-shirt.  You can click the link to the top right of this page.  Thanks!


I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the pictures you all have sent out of your GODSTRONG shirts.  Jon is so uplifted by the support you all have shown to him.  This picture today touched me in a profound way!  This is Andrea Hartley.  She is the daughter of my pastor when I was growing up.  I used to babysit her, then I coached her, then I taught WITH her and coached WITH her.  And I also wore her wedding dress on my wedding day!  She is SO special and I ask that you join us in praying for complete healing in her body.  She has a husband and 4 young children and lives in Texas.  I love the verse she included on here.  The outlook that her and her husband have had through this process have been such a blessing to me!  Their total dependence on God has really struck a chord in me.  But most of all that she would be going through this great trial herself and put this GODSTRONG shirt on in support of Jon is selfless and AWESOME!  Doesn't she look beautiful?  She is INSIDE and OUT!

I feel like I've really let Satan get a hold of me in the area of dwelling on the negative.  So I am going to re-focus my thoughts on some of the blessings God has provided for us during this time.

1.  People in Indy through friends of friends have reached out to us in magnificent ways.  A family today had us over to their house.  HUGE blessing for my kids.  We have not been in a "home" since we got here.  My kids had the BEST time!  Kathy and Jen were the nicest people and we completely connected with them.  Another person hosted us at the Children's Museum one night which was absolutely amazing!  These people are perfect "strangers" but all part of the body of Christ and allowing God to use them!

2.  Jon got a surprise this morning when he showed up at the clinic and they dismissed him without even giving him fluids!  His blood work looked great.  He will go back Thursday for more blood work.

3.  FAMILY:  Our family has rallied around us and left jobs, homes, and friends to come join us in taking care of our kids and us!

4.  Jon has stayed mentally strong during this time--like stronger than me!  He has really focused on staying GODSTRONG!

5.  Our kids have adjusted so well!  They have stayed positive and haven't really asked to go home which is amazing.  They "get" it.

6.  Emily has been a huge blessing and such a "constant" for the kids which is what I wanted.  She knows all their activities and routines.

7.  Jon had minimal side effects during this 1st round.  HUGE answer to prayer!

8.  We have gotten plugged into a church from the second we got here.  They have been amazing and such a blessing.  The kids LOVE it.  And we have a "pastor" that comes and prays with Jon weekly.  He is a former high school classmate of mine and lives in Indy and works on the IU campus.  His church is the one we attend.

9.  Apartments have been a blessing and the location is AMAZING!

10.  Jon gets lots of "fan mail" everyday because of YOU!



Another precious Luke story:

We were at our friends house today having a play date.  We were all sitting eating our lunch, Luke was beside me.  Kathy asked me what the hardest thing about this journey has been.  So as I was struggling to answer the question Luke taps me on the shoulder and says, "We need to pray for daddy."  It totally caught me off guard.  So I said, "OK, right now?"  "YES"  he said,  "RIGHT NOW."  I said, "OK, are you wanting me to pray, or are you going to pray?"  He said, "I"M GOING TO PRAY!"  So, we all bowed our heads and his prayer went something like this:

"Dear God, bless us and thank you for this day.
Please help daddy get better and help his doodles go away.
Help him to eat his oatmeal again.
AMEN."

Of course, most of us were crying.  And that was that.  He was done and we went along continuing to eat and talk.  He is one amazing 4 year old!  His heart for the Lord and his care and concern for others blows me away.  This is the heart that God has given him.  It is nothing that he has been "taught", it is nothing that we have done as parents. Just to clarify, the doodle the kids refer to are Jon's catheter where they administer the fluids, meds, chemo and stem cells.  The kids see his "doodles" as a sign that he is sick and they want them gone because for them this will signify Jon being WELL.  Also, Jon started this round in Indy by coming up to the kids apartment every morning eating oatmeal.  As the days went on, eating oatmeal became more difficult until one day he ate eggs instead of oatmeal.  Then after a few days of eggs Jon stopped showing up at all.  We have never talked about this with the kids.  They observed this on their own, and they drew the conclusion that if Jon is not eating his oatmeal he is SICK.  When he starts eating his oatmeal again, he will be WELL!  Precious, precious children of faith who pray for their daddy every night and we do our family cheer, "STREBE'S ARE GODSTRONG."

One last blessing and I will stop here:

Jon and I received a personal note handwritten by Coach K (Duke University) inviting our WHOLE family to Cameron to a game!  WAHOOOO!!!  We got it the day before Jon got out of the hospital.  He was SOO excited!  Pretty cool and Jon is SO looking forward to this at the end of his journey.  Coach K also sent Jon a signed hat and a signed poster that said he was on his side, and a Duke shirt.  God blesses us even with little blessings.

Strebe's continue to be...

GODSTRONG

The Little Engine That Could

     Good morning everyone, this is Jon writing today.  The title of this post certainly is where I am at this point in the process.  At the very beginning of this process, back in January they told Donna and I that this would be very up and down, kind of like a roller coaster ride.  Well, they certainly didn't lie, because that is exactly what it was and continues to be, up and down and all around.  But God is good, no some of the time, or in certain situations.  He is good all the time!
     There are certainly moments where I feel like certain periods of time will never end.  Sitting in that hospital bed over those four days seemed like months.  You are very restricted, and literally at someone else's mercy.  However no matter what fear we have, I am reminded that God is always with us.  He loves us and wants to be with us because first and foremost He loves us.  We are His children and He will NEVER leave or FORSAKE us.  So I remind myself that as it says in Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and Courageous, do not be afraid or terrified........".
     We all have fears, anxieties, and shear times of panic.  But God reassures us that He is with us holding our hands as we work through our fears.  Fears of not being a good enough parent.  Fears of not loving your spouse the way you should.  Fears of not doing enough at work.  Anxiety of a life threatening disease, or whatever it may be, we all have our own challenges.   God tells us to replace those fears and anxieties with trust.  Ultimate trust in Him.  I certainly have times where I let Satan plant  that seed of fear or anxiety into my not so strong mind.  I encourage you to join me in this battle of fear.  Trust that no matter the situation, no matter how bad you think you your situation is, or that no one can help you.  Keep in mind that the creater of this universe, the Great I Am is waiting for you with His outstretched hand, just waiting for you to reach out with your hand so that He can help you through.  He loves you more than anything in this world because we are all created in the image of Him.  We are all children of God, and we need to know and trust that he will never ever leave out side!  Have a great Sunday, and thank you all for your continued love and support.  We feel it every minute of every day!  
   

Jon is home and an outpatient again!

Jon was released from the hospital today!  YEA!!  He will go back to being an outpatient until they can get some of the side effects under control.  He will report to the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) Clinic Saturday, Sunday and Monday in the very least.  But they have taken him off all his antibiotics.  He is still low on potassium and magnesium which he is taking through pills.  The clinic will basically just be giving him fluids.  The doctor is very concerned with his kidneys since he is loosing so much fluid.  For those of you who are medical or have been through a stem cell transplant you will enjoy seeing this.  For those of you who are not, basically this week on the calendar shows his counts coming up...a huge cause for celebration when you work with BMT patients.  PTL!

We were able to go to the apple orchard with the kids today.  Jon's dad brought Jon home from the hospital while we were gone.  It was about 30 minutes away and SO fun.  I have wanted to do this since the twins have been born and we have no apple orchard near us that I know of.  I had a blast and the kids did also!  It was a beautiful day!  Here are some precious pictures of our time at the orchard picking apples!  

The Strebe's are...

GODSTRONG!

A sweet video that will touch your heart and good news!

I have told you about Luke on numerous occasions.  He loves God with all his heart and wants everyone to Praise God.  He also loves to learn about God.  Here is a sweet video of a "Bible" he got at CBS (Community Bible Study).  It was so cute because when he brought it home I could tell he was repeating exactly what his teacher said (He listens to EVERYTHING).  He said, "Momma, this is a Bible, but some people call it God's Word."  He carried this with him for 2 days straight and read it a thousand times!

Good News!

Jon's counts are on the way up.  His neutrophil counts were higher today and the Nurse Practitioner and BMT Doctor both said they will continue to rise everyday and Jon should be out of the hospital by Friday or Saturday.  BUT he has to be able to take pills by mouth without getting nauseated so please pray that his nausea will get better.  So far today there hasn't been improvement in that area.  The counts are going up a little earlier than "usual" so the docs were happy about that.  They said his symptoms that he is having will subside as his counts continue to rise.  We were very encouraged with the news!

Thanks for praying and we continue to be...

GODSTRONG!

Jon is now inpatient

This is a very difficult blog post to write because I am not in a good place and Jon is not in a good place.  But part of the reason I am writing these blogs is for our family, especially our children to be able to read later and see how faithful God was in our family.  So, here goes...

Jon threw up all night Saturday night into early Sunday morning.  Also, when he started vomitting at 10PM Saturday night his fever was 100.9.  I called the on call doctor and he said it was 50/50 whether to come in and be admitted.  But after Jon threw up 4 times, he could hardly walk so at 4AM Sunday morning we headed in to the hospital.  Jon was able to come right up to the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) Unit and be admitted here, thus avoiding the ER.  That was a blessing with his counts being so low.  Basically he was dehydrated.  They began giving him fluids and he never threw up again.  They took blood cultures and found everything was normal.  So the praise is there isn't anything major going on.  It is VERY different over here in the inpatient part as opposed to the outpatient clinic. When you are outpatient they want you very involved in your own healthcare because after all they are sending you home for your caregiver to take care of you.  So they tell you exactly what meds they are giving and you mark it off on a sheet and then you write down at night all the pills you take.  When you are inpatient they just start hanging bags, and starting them.  They do not tell you what they are giving you unless you ask.  And before when he felt nauseated I would give him an Ativan.  Now when he is nauseated we have to ask for it and it could be an hour before he gets it.  Don't get me wrong, the nurses are great both places, it is just a different mindset to be inpatient.  It has added some more stress for me for sure.  Let's just say they are getting to know his control-freak wife very well!  At shift change, the new nurse came in and told me exactly what they were giving Jon and the dosage and said, "I heard you like to know what we are giving."  LOL

Since Jon can't write and tell you all his troubles I'll tell you mine!  I'm just breaking down in every way:  emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I'm just really questioning why Jon, of all people, have to suffer like this.  My heart aches to watch him.  My heart aches to be with my children.  I'm not even sleeping with them in the apartment!  I went from living with them and checking on them before I go to bed at midnight, then again in the middle of the night, to not having a clue if they are OK.  They had only been away from me at night like 2 times!   I don't want to live here.  I don't want to be separated as a family.  I want to be home, be together and healthy!  I want Jon back.  He is my best friend and the one I count on for everything.   I'm definitely not finding joy in the this trial at the moment!  I'm certainly not rejoicing in these circumstances.

I think sometimes in the Christian life we like to fluff things up and make everything sound positive because that is what we are supposed to do.  But reality of the situation sets in, and you are going to have moments that you have negative thoughts, you are overwhelmed with fear and that you just can't handle life.  I'm there!  I am human and in no way perfect--not even close.  And boy have we seen that in the last few days!  A good friend reminded of this story:

 Matthew 26:36-46 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” 42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
  
Jesus was the only perfect one to walk the face of this earth.  And even he asked to have this painful, sorrowful situation taken from him.   He had great anguish over the physical pain, separation from the Father, and death for the sins of the world that he would endure.  In His human nature, Jesus struggled.  And fortunately He can relate to me right now!  I hope that in my relationship with Christ I have the strength like Jesus had to obey!  Jesus knew his future and He still struggled with the suffering He would go through.  I like in vs. 39 Jesus saying not as I will, but as you will and again in vs 42 when he said YOUR WILL BE DONE.  I hope that I can have a renewed sense of trust in God's plan for our family through Jon's suffering.  

Ironically, as I'm sitting here typing this, another very good friend (who has not a clue of where my head is these past few days) just texted me this verse:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  II Corinthians 12:9

Thank you dear friends for your encouragement.  And even if I don't mention in the blog, every letter, email, text, FB message, card, package, etc means the world to me and my family!  You all are such an encouragement and I hope to grow up to be like all of you!  I will forever be changed because of this situation.

We just found out that Jon will be in the hospital until the end of this round, probably anywhere from 6-9 more days.  Please pray for him.  He is barely eating.   He is loosing strength.  His counts are still extremely low (he got more platelets today).

**Note:  I started this blog days ago, and have written a little everyday for 3 days.  Today (Tuesday), I can report that Jon went on a "walk" with me last night around the halls and started being silly and jogging.  He sure is a funny guy!  For the most part he has slept today but he is having spurts of energy and has kept his spirits up!  He has been amazing!  Thanks for praying and our family will continue to be...

GODSTRONG!

Quick Update

Jon continues to go downhill.  I don't even know if he or I could tell you exactly how he feels but I would say in general just miserable.  He is not in pain.  PTL.  These doctors/nurses have done this so many times and are right on with what days you feel the worse.  Today was definitely the worst so far.  His platelets were low today (6,000 for you medical people) so they gave him a transfusion.  He is hardly able to eat.  He is super nauseated although he has not thrown up which is a blessing.  At times, he can hardly answer yes/no questions I ask him.  But there are short times I see LIFE in him and it's encouraging.  He will smile when I show him a video/picture of the kids, or when the kids come to see him, or when I make a funny joke.  These times are very uplifting to me!  His blood counts will stay super low until about Wednesday when they should start coming back up.  Please pray for him!  I just can't imagine what he is going through and it is excruciating to watch.  Continue to pray he will not get an infection.

My mom got home safely and Jon's parents arrived safely!!  Thanks goodness for family!!

Thanks for joining us in this journey!

We are GODSTRONG!

A small snippet of our lives

First of all I will start off with a story that happened 2 nights ago.  Jon is on LOTS of medicines that sometimes require late night runs to Walgreens.  We have found a Walgreens a mile away that is open 24 hours and even has a mini grocery store.  So, the other night Jon wanted biscuits for breakfast--he is like a pregnant woman in their 1st trimester).    I was out of baking soda.  So at 11PM Emily (my babysitter) and I headed to the local Walgreens.  After all, we had been there 2 nights prior to pick up medication and felt totally safe.  There was security at the door, and seemed like an ok area.  As soon as we walked in there was a creepy guy I noticed looking, like really looking at Emily.  So of course I kept my eye on him closely (he didn't give me the time of day...LOL).  I noticed a police officer on duty in the store.  As I approached the counter, I told the girl checking us out that I felt uncomfortable with a guy that had been in there.  She said it was no problem for the officer to escort us out.  So, actually the manager and the policeman escorted us to our car.  As we drove away, I noticed a brand new black escalade in the parking lot and as we passed by it it was the creepy guy starring at us.  So I drove out of the Walgreens, around the corner and back in.  The officer was walking back in Walgreens and I called for him.  He came over and I explained that I was sure I was freaking out over nothing but that this guy was making us feel very uncomfortable.  The officer said we cannot be too careful in that area.  He stood at our car, looked over at the Escalade and the guy drove away.  Thank goodness because I was so afraid he would follow us back to our apartments!  Definitely a good wake up call that we are in the city and we are very thankful Jon's dad will be here for 2 weeks to do the late night errands for Jon:o)

Today was not the best day for me.  I went with Jon to the hospital.  He always has 4 hours of fluids, that is standard.  Then they take his blood and based on the results he could get other things that make his stay for the day longer.  Today was standard but I wanted to stay and at least to talk to the NP.  I have been leaving Jon for a little while each day.  He enjoys the time alone and I enjoy seeing the kids.  Well, in particular today I was really missing the kids and wanting to be with them.  So i decided to meet them at their Gymboree Sports class.  I left Jon and went down to get the car from valet.  It was taking SOOO long.  I finally asked and they had forgotten to get my car!!  When I finally left, Siri took me the wrong way.  (By the way, I'm over Siri.  I've stayed mad at her the whole time--she has done a terrible job so far!).  I got back on track and then hit a terrible wreck, traffic was barely creeping.  I finally got to the class in time for snack and a story:o(.  I then sent Emily to get Jon and I was able to hang out with the kids.  We ran some errands, and then we went to the zoo to play in the splash pad.  That was the best part of the day!  But another funny story.

The kids already know everything about the zoo.  They went straight to the splash pad.  5 minutes after the got all wet, Emma Kate announces she has to potty #1.  So I take her to the bathroom (it isn't exactly super close to the splash pad).  We get back and I take Luke because they are about to close the bathroom and the kids had not gone for hours.  I get in the bathroom with Luke and I get a phone call from my mom.  Emma Kate has to go #2--poop!  I hurry Luke along, go back and get Emma Kate and as I'm walking off Ryan runs up and says I POOPED!!  Really?  It was a crazy 20 minutes but we made it through and I was just thankful to be spending time with my kids.

If I had it my way, I would clone myself.  My heart is to be with my children.  But my heart is also to take care of my husband and get him through this rough time.  I feel SO much guilt everyday.  I want to do it all!  And I can't!  I cannot possibly be 2 places at once, so I have to choose.  And then I end up running back and forth between the two.  I feel guilty on days like today when I had to send Emily to get Jon.  I feel guilty when I have to tell the kids "I gotta go", as they are whining at the door.  I know that Jon has a very hard job to do what he is doing, so then I feel guilty for complaining about my life.  Guilt, Guilt, Guilt!  You can pray for me that I will find a balance and be able to divide my time.  It's times like today that I feel like I'm doing a million things, but nothing well!

The above was written yesterday (Wednesday).  I never had time to send.  So the rest of this post is written on Thursday!

Today was better!  I felt refreshed after I left Jon yesterday and spent the rest of the day with the kids.  SSHHH!  Don't tell Jon I felt "refreshed" after leaving him.  LOL.  Just kidding.

My kids are adjusting well but my little boy blue (Ryan) is starting to struggle with being away from me.  He is a MOMMA's boy!!  Luke has done very well and been super sweet.  Emma Kate has done well with me being away and has such a sweet heart but her and Ryan can get into trouble together faster than you can blink an eye.  Emily is doing AWESOME!  I do not know what I would do without her!  The kids LOVE her, she is so caring, kind and gentle with them.  But yet she is firm and has expectations for them.  My mom has been helping her the past 2 weeks but is going home tomorrow:o( boohoo...But Jon's parents are coming for 2 weeks!:o)  YEA!!  It's just one big party for the kids...they get lots of love and attention these days!  My mom looks like she has lost 10 lbs and is exhausted!  In fact, if you know my mom, you may not even notice her because she is so skinny!  HAHA.  Let's just say she has worked her butt off cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids and keeping up with all their activities!  Now it's the Strebes' turn, I told them to rest up before they came, let's hope they did:o)

Jon is going downhill.  His white counts are getting lower and all this chemo has taken a toll on his body.  But honestly, outside of his white counts being low (which is normal for his circumstance) his blood work looks great.  All his numbers have stayed good so far.  The only thing they have added to his regimen is potassium and magnesium.  But please keep praying.  His worst days will be tomorrow through next Wednesday. His counts will continue to drop.

Prayer request:  PLEASE pray that Jon will not catch an infection.

I am SO paranoid so I am sanitizing all the time, washing hands, and mostly keeping the kids away.  It just isn't worth the risk.

Please forgive me if I have not responded to you either FB or email.  I'm so far behind but I promise I will catch up.  I will tell you I am better at responding to email.  I'm just terrible with FB.  I will remember someone sent me a message but then I have NO idea where to find it!
My email is:  donnastrebe@aol.com

Also, the cards, letters and packages are AWESOME!  Jon probably gets 4-5 cards a day.  It is awesome and it really lifts his spirits!!  Thank you!  Keep them coming.  I will give you a break in 2 weeks:o)

Here are some cute pics

So thankful for highchairs.  We had a friend of a friend deliver these to us.  We are much happier caregivers when my little boy blue is in a highchair!!

We have had to get real creative here.  We have a bag of outdoor toys that we take to the field in front of the Law School that is directly across the street from our apartment.  We are not sure how the law students feel about us being there, but the kids are thankful they are sharing their space!

Emily and my mom took the kids to practice their instruments before music class.  I'm sure glad they were outdoors and not in the apartment!

BTW, yes, the neighbors are still complaining.  Pray their hearts will change!

Splash pad at the zoo.  And yes, it is HOT up here!  Like, really hot!  I did not know the north was so hot and had such nice people!:o)  

This is the Butler Bear.  I have NO idea what his name is but this was outside the NCAA building.  They were having an event and he came out and was SOOO sweet to the kids!  

We are GODSTRONG! 

Thanks again for joining us on this journey and for your prayers and support!!