"Who dies of testicular cancer anyways?"

That was my response when Jon was first diagnosed with testicular cancer metastasis to the lungs.  As I looked up the statistics there are about 300 men a year in the US that die of testicular cancer.  In my mind I was trying to say it was all going to be OK.  I mean I'm sure those 300 people that died just declined treatment or let it go so far that there was nothing the doctors could do.  That was my justification and my way of believing that no matter what Jon had to go through the outcome was going to be just fine and he was going to live a long life.  

Well, as Jon's situation got more desperate and the first round of treatment did not work and the chances of his survival went down, I became more afraid and fearful of what the future would hold.  I mean, now Jon was one of those rare people that would have to seek more intensive treatment to try and kill this cancer.

Along the path of Jon's journey with high dose chemo and double stem cell transplant, we have met a lot of great men.  Some young, some older, some metastis to the brain, some with a more aggressive type of TC,  from all walks of life with all types of careers, some even right out of college, men from all over the country that we have connected with and in hopes that we have been able to minister to  in some way.

Who dies of testicular cancer?  Unfortunately 2 of these very young men (24 yrs old) whom we have had the priveledge of getting to know have passed away.  I asked you in an earlier post to pray for both of these men.  I will ask you again to please lift up the Waghalter family in your prayers.  Mark passed away a couple of days ago.  He graduated from college a year ago, has a fiancee and should have had such a long life ahead of him.

We have been very open and honest with our children but the one thing we have never directly told them is that cancer has the potential to be fatal, or that daddy could have been one of these men with TC that we know that could have died.

So our children have been praying for Mark.  I received news of his passing the other night while I was out by myself running errands.  It really hit me hard.  This could be Jon.  My heart went out to these parents that lost their young son, this fiancee that lost the love of her life and her future husband, this brother that lost his brother, and so on.  Then I received a message from Candace, Mark's fiancee and this is what it read:

Well, I was in the grocery store when I read the text and I started bawling!  I'm walking through the store, cannot control my tears, everyone is looking at me and I'm trying my best to focus on what I was actually supposed to be buying at the store.  So finally when I was checking out I got a hold of myself.

I walked in the door and little sweet Luke, my 5 year old runs out of his room and says, "O momma, I'm so glad you have your Godstrong shirt on because I have mine on too!"  Well, I lost it again.  I start bawling thinking about what an impact Jon's journey and story has made on so many people.  Luke says, "Momma, what is wrong?"  I blew him off and told him nothing.  He is a very insightful little boy and relentless so he asked me again what was wrong.  I bent down and told him Mark had passed away.  Oh the look on his face.  He was truly sad.  I told him what Candace had told me in the text about the Godstrong bracelet and he just hugged and hugged me and said he was so sorry.

Fast forward to the next morning:  Luke announces to the babes at breakfast that Mark had passed away.  And Ryan says, "Daddy, I'm glad you didn't die because I wove (LOVE) you!"  Well, Jon then lost it.  So we might not have directly told them that cancer can be fatal but they get it.  They know that cancer could have taken Jon's life.

Jon celebrated his 38th birthday today.!  Such a blessing.  We have celebrated!  We have rejoiced for another year that God has given Jon.  We don't understand why God would save Jon's life and not Mark's (or Jaron's).  We have lots of questions but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is a good God and He loves us more than anyone!  His plan for us is greater than we could ever imagine.  And some of these answers we may never know on this earth.

We are so thankful for the people that we have been able to encourage, minister to and love on while on their cancer journey.  But with that comes walking this journey with them.  And for some their earthly journey has come to an end.  And Satan likes to use that in my life to start doubting that God has healed Jon.  He really sends lots of messages to me that make me extremely fearful, like to the point of panic attacks.  Jon goes back for his appointment December 8th.  This is the first time we have gone a 4 month stretch.  While it is great to get to that point where each scan is farther apart, it also makes me start being very fearful of the future and what the scan will show.  You can definitely be praying in the next month as we approach Jon's next scan.  I have major SCANXIETY!!!  THANKS for praying!

And the Strebe's continue to be

GODSTRONG. 

I will leave you with the verse that I sent Mark about 6 weeks ago:

Romans 15:13

May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The only true and lasting HOPE we can have is to put our trust in Jesus Christ.  There is nothing else on earth that can give us that eternal HOPE.  Mark's mother text me a few days ago and told me Mark had peace with his salvation.  Hallelujah!!