Jon is home and an outpatient again!

Jon was released from the hospital today!  YEA!!  He will go back to being an outpatient until they can get some of the side effects under control.  He will report to the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) Clinic Saturday, Sunday and Monday in the very least.  But they have taken him off all his antibiotics.  He is still low on potassium and magnesium which he is taking through pills.  The clinic will basically just be giving him fluids.  The doctor is very concerned with his kidneys since he is loosing so much fluid.  For those of you who are medical or have been through a stem cell transplant you will enjoy seeing this.  For those of you who are not, basically this week on the calendar shows his counts coming up...a huge cause for celebration when you work with BMT patients.  PTL!

We were able to go to the apple orchard with the kids today.  Jon's dad brought Jon home from the hospital while we were gone.  It was about 30 minutes away and SO fun.  I have wanted to do this since the twins have been born and we have no apple orchard near us that I know of.  I had a blast and the kids did also!  It was a beautiful day!  Here are some precious pictures of our time at the orchard picking apples!  

The Strebe's are...

GODSTRONG!

A sweet video that will touch your heart and good news!

I have told you about Luke on numerous occasions.  He loves God with all his heart and wants everyone to Praise God.  He also loves to learn about God.  Here is a sweet video of a "Bible" he got at CBS (Community Bible Study).  It was so cute because when he brought it home I could tell he was repeating exactly what his teacher said (He listens to EVERYTHING).  He said, "Momma, this is a Bible, but some people call it God's Word."  He carried this with him for 2 days straight and read it a thousand times!

Good News!

Jon's counts are on the way up.  His neutrophil counts were higher today and the Nurse Practitioner and BMT Doctor both said they will continue to rise everyday and Jon should be out of the hospital by Friday or Saturday.  BUT he has to be able to take pills by mouth without getting nauseated so please pray that his nausea will get better.  So far today there hasn't been improvement in that area.  The counts are going up a little earlier than "usual" so the docs were happy about that.  They said his symptoms that he is having will subside as his counts continue to rise.  We were very encouraged with the news!

Thanks for praying and we continue to be...

GODSTRONG!

Jon is now inpatient

This is a very difficult blog post to write because I am not in a good place and Jon is not in a good place.  But part of the reason I am writing these blogs is for our family, especially our children to be able to read later and see how faithful God was in our family.  So, here goes...

Jon threw up all night Saturday night into early Sunday morning.  Also, when he started vomitting at 10PM Saturday night his fever was 100.9.  I called the on call doctor and he said it was 50/50 whether to come in and be admitted.  But after Jon threw up 4 times, he could hardly walk so at 4AM Sunday morning we headed in to the hospital.  Jon was able to come right up to the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) Unit and be admitted here, thus avoiding the ER.  That was a blessing with his counts being so low.  Basically he was dehydrated.  They began giving him fluids and he never threw up again.  They took blood cultures and found everything was normal.  So the praise is there isn't anything major going on.  It is VERY different over here in the inpatient part as opposed to the outpatient clinic. When you are outpatient they want you very involved in your own healthcare because after all they are sending you home for your caregiver to take care of you.  So they tell you exactly what meds they are giving and you mark it off on a sheet and then you write down at night all the pills you take.  When you are inpatient they just start hanging bags, and starting them.  They do not tell you what they are giving you unless you ask.  And before when he felt nauseated I would give him an Ativan.  Now when he is nauseated we have to ask for it and it could be an hour before he gets it.  Don't get me wrong, the nurses are great both places, it is just a different mindset to be inpatient.  It has added some more stress for me for sure.  Let's just say they are getting to know his control-freak wife very well!  At shift change, the new nurse came in and told me exactly what they were giving Jon and the dosage and said, "I heard you like to know what we are giving."  LOL

Since Jon can't write and tell you all his troubles I'll tell you mine!  I'm just breaking down in every way:  emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I'm just really questioning why Jon, of all people, have to suffer like this.  My heart aches to watch him.  My heart aches to be with my children.  I'm not even sleeping with them in the apartment!  I went from living with them and checking on them before I go to bed at midnight, then again in the middle of the night, to not having a clue if they are OK.  They had only been away from me at night like 2 times!   I don't want to live here.  I don't want to be separated as a family.  I want to be home, be together and healthy!  I want Jon back.  He is my best friend and the one I count on for everything.   I'm definitely not finding joy in the this trial at the moment!  I'm certainly not rejoicing in these circumstances.

I think sometimes in the Christian life we like to fluff things up and make everything sound positive because that is what we are supposed to do.  But reality of the situation sets in, and you are going to have moments that you have negative thoughts, you are overwhelmed with fear and that you just can't handle life.  I'm there!  I am human and in no way perfect--not even close.  And boy have we seen that in the last few days!  A good friend reminded of this story:

 Matthew 26:36-46 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” 42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
  
Jesus was the only perfect one to walk the face of this earth.  And even he asked to have this painful, sorrowful situation taken from him.   He had great anguish over the physical pain, separation from the Father, and death for the sins of the world that he would endure.  In His human nature, Jesus struggled.  And fortunately He can relate to me right now!  I hope that in my relationship with Christ I have the strength like Jesus had to obey!  Jesus knew his future and He still struggled with the suffering He would go through.  I like in vs. 39 Jesus saying not as I will, but as you will and again in vs 42 when he said YOUR WILL BE DONE.  I hope that I can have a renewed sense of trust in God's plan for our family through Jon's suffering.  

Ironically, as I'm sitting here typing this, another very good friend (who has not a clue of where my head is these past few days) just texted me this verse:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  II Corinthians 12:9

Thank you dear friends for your encouragement.  And even if I don't mention in the blog, every letter, email, text, FB message, card, package, etc means the world to me and my family!  You all are such an encouragement and I hope to grow up to be like all of you!  I will forever be changed because of this situation.

We just found out that Jon will be in the hospital until the end of this round, probably anywhere from 6-9 more days.  Please pray for him.  He is barely eating.   He is loosing strength.  His counts are still extremely low (he got more platelets today).

**Note:  I started this blog days ago, and have written a little everyday for 3 days.  Today (Tuesday), I can report that Jon went on a "walk" with me last night around the halls and started being silly and jogging.  He sure is a funny guy!  For the most part he has slept today but he is having spurts of energy and has kept his spirits up!  He has been amazing!  Thanks for praying and our family will continue to be...

GODSTRONG!

Quick Update

Jon continues to go downhill.  I don't even know if he or I could tell you exactly how he feels but I would say in general just miserable.  He is not in pain.  PTL.  These doctors/nurses have done this so many times and are right on with what days you feel the worse.  Today was definitely the worst so far.  His platelets were low today (6,000 for you medical people) so they gave him a transfusion.  He is hardly able to eat.  He is super nauseated although he has not thrown up which is a blessing.  At times, he can hardly answer yes/no questions I ask him.  But there are short times I see LIFE in him and it's encouraging.  He will smile when I show him a video/picture of the kids, or when the kids come to see him, or when I make a funny joke.  These times are very uplifting to me!  His blood counts will stay super low until about Wednesday when they should start coming back up.  Please pray for him!  I just can't imagine what he is going through and it is excruciating to watch.  Continue to pray he will not get an infection.

My mom got home safely and Jon's parents arrived safely!!  Thanks goodness for family!!

Thanks for joining us in this journey!

We are GODSTRONG!

A small snippet of our lives

First of all I will start off with a story that happened 2 nights ago.  Jon is on LOTS of medicines that sometimes require late night runs to Walgreens.  We have found a Walgreens a mile away that is open 24 hours and even has a mini grocery store.  So, the other night Jon wanted biscuits for breakfast--he is like a pregnant woman in their 1st trimester).    I was out of baking soda.  So at 11PM Emily (my babysitter) and I headed to the local Walgreens.  After all, we had been there 2 nights prior to pick up medication and felt totally safe.  There was security at the door, and seemed like an ok area.  As soon as we walked in there was a creepy guy I noticed looking, like really looking at Emily.  So of course I kept my eye on him closely (he didn't give me the time of day...LOL).  I noticed a police officer on duty in the store.  As I approached the counter, I told the girl checking us out that I felt uncomfortable with a guy that had been in there.  She said it was no problem for the officer to escort us out.  So, actually the manager and the policeman escorted us to our car.  As we drove away, I noticed a brand new black escalade in the parking lot and as we passed by it it was the creepy guy starring at us.  So I drove out of the Walgreens, around the corner and back in.  The officer was walking back in Walgreens and I called for him.  He came over and I explained that I was sure I was freaking out over nothing but that this guy was making us feel very uncomfortable.  The officer said we cannot be too careful in that area.  He stood at our car, looked over at the Escalade and the guy drove away.  Thank goodness because I was so afraid he would follow us back to our apartments!  Definitely a good wake up call that we are in the city and we are very thankful Jon's dad will be here for 2 weeks to do the late night errands for Jon:o)

Today was not the best day for me.  I went with Jon to the hospital.  He always has 4 hours of fluids, that is standard.  Then they take his blood and based on the results he could get other things that make his stay for the day longer.  Today was standard but I wanted to stay and at least to talk to the NP.  I have been leaving Jon for a little while each day.  He enjoys the time alone and I enjoy seeing the kids.  Well, in particular today I was really missing the kids and wanting to be with them.  So i decided to meet them at their Gymboree Sports class.  I left Jon and went down to get the car from valet.  It was taking SOOO long.  I finally asked and they had forgotten to get my car!!  When I finally left, Siri took me the wrong way.  (By the way, I'm over Siri.  I've stayed mad at her the whole time--she has done a terrible job so far!).  I got back on track and then hit a terrible wreck, traffic was barely creeping.  I finally got to the class in time for snack and a story:o(.  I then sent Emily to get Jon and I was able to hang out with the kids.  We ran some errands, and then we went to the zoo to play in the splash pad.  That was the best part of the day!  But another funny story.

The kids already know everything about the zoo.  They went straight to the splash pad.  5 minutes after the got all wet, Emma Kate announces she has to potty #1.  So I take her to the bathroom (it isn't exactly super close to the splash pad).  We get back and I take Luke because they are about to close the bathroom and the kids had not gone for hours.  I get in the bathroom with Luke and I get a phone call from my mom.  Emma Kate has to go #2--poop!  I hurry Luke along, go back and get Emma Kate and as I'm walking off Ryan runs up and says I POOPED!!  Really?  It was a crazy 20 minutes but we made it through and I was just thankful to be spending time with my kids.

If I had it my way, I would clone myself.  My heart is to be with my children.  But my heart is also to take care of my husband and get him through this rough time.  I feel SO much guilt everyday.  I want to do it all!  And I can't!  I cannot possibly be 2 places at once, so I have to choose.  And then I end up running back and forth between the two.  I feel guilty on days like today when I had to send Emily to get Jon.  I feel guilty when I have to tell the kids "I gotta go", as they are whining at the door.  I know that Jon has a very hard job to do what he is doing, so then I feel guilty for complaining about my life.  Guilt, Guilt, Guilt!  You can pray for me that I will find a balance and be able to divide my time.  It's times like today that I feel like I'm doing a million things, but nothing well!

The above was written yesterday (Wednesday).  I never had time to send.  So the rest of this post is written on Thursday!

Today was better!  I felt refreshed after I left Jon yesterday and spent the rest of the day with the kids.  SSHHH!  Don't tell Jon I felt "refreshed" after leaving him.  LOL.  Just kidding.

My kids are adjusting well but my little boy blue (Ryan) is starting to struggle with being away from me.  He is a MOMMA's boy!!  Luke has done very well and been super sweet.  Emma Kate has done well with me being away and has such a sweet heart but her and Ryan can get into trouble together faster than you can blink an eye.  Emily is doing AWESOME!  I do not know what I would do without her!  The kids LOVE her, she is so caring, kind and gentle with them.  But yet she is firm and has expectations for them.  My mom has been helping her the past 2 weeks but is going home tomorrow:o( boohoo...But Jon's parents are coming for 2 weeks!:o)  YEA!!  It's just one big party for the kids...they get lots of love and attention these days!  My mom looks like she has lost 10 lbs and is exhausted!  In fact, if you know my mom, you may not even notice her because she is so skinny!  HAHA.  Let's just say she has worked her butt off cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids and keeping up with all their activities!  Now it's the Strebes' turn, I told them to rest up before they came, let's hope they did:o)

Jon is going downhill.  His white counts are getting lower and all this chemo has taken a toll on his body.  But honestly, outside of his white counts being low (which is normal for his circumstance) his blood work looks great.  All his numbers have stayed good so far.  The only thing they have added to his regimen is potassium and magnesium.  But please keep praying.  His worst days will be tomorrow through next Wednesday. His counts will continue to drop.

Prayer request:  PLEASE pray that Jon will not catch an infection.

I am SO paranoid so I am sanitizing all the time, washing hands, and mostly keeping the kids away.  It just isn't worth the risk.

Please forgive me if I have not responded to you either FB or email.  I'm so far behind but I promise I will catch up.  I will tell you I am better at responding to email.  I'm just terrible with FB.  I will remember someone sent me a message but then I have NO idea where to find it!
My email is:  donnastrebe@aol.com

Also, the cards, letters and packages are AWESOME!  Jon probably gets 4-5 cards a day.  It is awesome and it really lifts his spirits!!  Thank you!  Keep them coming.  I will give you a break in 2 weeks:o)

Here are some cute pics

So thankful for highchairs.  We had a friend of a friend deliver these to us.  We are much happier caregivers when my little boy blue is in a highchair!!

We have had to get real creative here.  We have a bag of outdoor toys that we take to the field in front of the Law School that is directly across the street from our apartment.  We are not sure how the law students feel about us being there, but the kids are thankful they are sharing their space!

Emily and my mom took the kids to practice their instruments before music class.  I'm sure glad they were outdoors and not in the apartment!

BTW, yes, the neighbors are still complaining.  Pray their hearts will change!

Splash pad at the zoo.  And yes, it is HOT up here!  Like, really hot!  I did not know the north was so hot and had such nice people!:o)  

This is the Butler Bear.  I have NO idea what his name is but this was outside the NCAA building.  They were having an event and he came out and was SOOO sweet to the kids!  

We are GODSTRONG! 

Thanks again for joining us on this journey and for your prayers and support!!

Thanks for praying!

Jon did awesome during his transplant!  The actual transplant took 8 minutes.  They thawed his stems cells out in these small bags and put them back into him through a syringe.  The nurse actually said it was the fastest transplant she had done in a while because Jon collected so well.  He had less bags, so that means less preservatives and that means less time it takes to push it through the syringe.  He had minimal side effects so God answers your prayers!!  The only thing he felt was a little flush.  He said the slightest bit he felt chest tightening but that was for a short time.  He did not get nauseated at all!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  Jon is a champ!

For those of you who are medically minded here are some pictures.  It is a fascinating process.  I prayed with Jon before we got started and I prayed that Jesus would "rescue" his body.  Because we know that He is the one that made Jon's stem cells and He is the one that will use those specific stem cells that He made JUST for Jon  to "rescue" him.  It is a cool thought!  I'm also super thankful for the minds that God gave these doctors to come up with this process!

This is the chamber where they keep the stem cells frozen.  It looks like in a movie when they open it up and the steam comes out.  

This is the frozen stem cell bag she pulled out.  The nurse puts it is saline for about 30 seconds to thaw it.

This is the process of the stem cells being pushed through the syringe.

PRAISE GOD.  Only through his strength can Jon get through this!

We are GODSTRONG!!

The Kid's Happenings

The kids are having a ball here!  They think it is one long vacation.  We bought a membership to the zoo and we can walk there.  So, this weekend they walked to the zoo Saturday and Sunday and I was able to leave Jon at the hospital getting his fluids and walk and meet them.  It was great!  There is a playground there and a splash pad so they played and played in the water.   The IU Law School is right across from our apartments so this morning they are playing with balls and outdoor stuff over there in this big field and going to feed some ducks in the canal.  Saturday night we got invited to an event at the Children's Museum here.  It is the biggest and best one I have ever been to.  It was amazing.  A family invited us and hosted us that was told our story through a common friend.  What a blessing and the kids had a complete blast!  They love that they have an apartment and Daddy has an apartment.  They love to go downstairs and visit him.  They have NO idea where I live!! I put them to bed at night and appear in the mornings:o)  We were able to get connected with a church here through a high school classmate of mine.  They meet on Sunday night which is perfect because I can go with Jon to treatment in the morning and head to church at night.  The kids were all in the same class which was great and they love being together.  And there are TONS of college students there which Emily, our babysitter can connect with.  My mom was by far the oldest person there...LOL.  I actually think I was definitely one of the oder ones there also. But it was perfect!  We just see God's provision in EVERYTHING!  Down to the fact there is an ER doctor at IU Hospital that lives directly across the hall from Jon at the apartment!

Below is a library Emily and my mom found for the kids.  They said it was fantastic!

Jon tells the kids EVERY morning that he is fighting for them.  Well, the first morning he told them that they all said separately "but daddy, it isn't nice to fight."  So now he changed it to, "I'm fighting this cancer for you!"  And so now all of them respond: "Fight that cancer.  Spank it and pinch it."  We also pray as a family for Jon every night.  The kids are just precious with their prayers.  I wish I could record them!  We end our prayer time by all piling our hands on top of each other and saying The Strebe's stick together like glue.  And we throw our hands up in the air and say, The Strebe's are GODSTRONG!  They kids LOVE our nightly prayer time together.  It's very adorable and we would never have started this if it weren't for us going through this trial that has brought our family so close!

Please pray for Jon.  His body is definitely going downhill.  Extreme fatigue is setting in.  His nausea is getting worse each day.  He was unable to walk to the hospital today.  His counts are dropping each day.  These are all things we knew would happen but just pray Jon will stay strong mentally!  It's tough on him I have no doubt!  He still comes up to see the kids in the morning and still puts them to bed at night.  It is precious!  But I know he wishes he could do more.  He will soon enough.

The most urgent prayer request is for his transplant tomorrow.  It will happen sometime between 9:30 and11.  This is the day they will rescue him.  It takes 15-30 minutes.  They push his stem cells through a syringe.  The nurses will stand by his bed and watch him closely.  The reactions that are common are tightening of the chest from the preservatives, nausea and vomitting and sweating.  Pray that the reactions will be minimal and Jon will be able to withstand this process.  I know he will!

On a side note, you all have been cracking me up with how into the neighbor story you are getting!!  I have no idea if the neighbors are still complaining but quite frankly I'm over it.  The more I am in the apartment complex the more I'm realizing we are just living our lives, not doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary.  There are many times we hear pounding and doors shaking from people walking above us.  Many mornings my kids tell me a loud boom wakes them up.  It is just apartment living.  I walked past my "neighbors" door the other day by accident (b/c I'm geographically challenged) and right across the hall from them the tenants had their music blaring!  Again, I'm over it.  I have bigger fish to fry.  We are going above and beyond to get the kids out of the apartment morning and early evening and get them to bed punctually.  They are learning about living in an apartment and doing so much better about whispering in the halls and tiptoeing.  They are SO adorable!  The girl we are renting from has been awesome!  And she goes way above and beyond to make our stay enjoyable.  She has been great with our neighbor situation.

Thanks for joining us in this journey!

The Strebe's are GODSTRONG!

This was Jon on his first day of chemo.  Doesn't he look great??!!